From Mountains to Ocean to Island

So, like I said in the last post, we sent Nikki on her way back to Melbourne so she could have a day to get some work on her thesis done. Let me start by pointing out that I would much prefer hiking with Saggy and Rachel than Cara and Nick. I still love Cara and Nick but the Cleveland fitness level is a lot closer to the Beddes's. We woke up early on Tuesday morning and headed out for a hike down Wentworth Falls. What an incredible hike! You literally walked along the edge of a cliff, while every now and again you'd emerge to walk across or under this huge waterfall. Then they went on the skyrail/rail that Nikki and I did a few months ago. Saggy just loved the steep train rail. That evening we were catching a late flight back to Melbourne and we had a bit of time before the rental car had to be back so I came up with the genius idea to go check out Bondi beach, which is supposed to be a very famous beach. Now, everyone I have ever talked to about Sydney told me not to drive in that town. When I typed it into the GPS it said it wasn't much farther than the airport. Naturally I figured we would just skirt the city center. Turns out the best way is right through the absolute heart of downtown, and of course, it was about 5 o'clock. After some white knuckle driving and fair bit of swearing we made it through to the beach. I don't know if it was worth it but it makes for a good story.



That night when we got back to Melbourne Saggy and Rachel stayed in Geelong so they'd be outside the city when they got their rental car to drive the Great Ocean Road. Turns out Saggy was a bit intimidated by the famous Melbourne hook turn. Judging by Saggy about to pee himself as he told me about all the kangaroos and koalas he saw I think he liked the drive. Rachel was just glad to be alive. Her description of the drive was: "only 2 near death experiences and the blinkers used correctly once". For those who have never driven on the wrong side of the road/car. The hardest thing to get used to is the blinkers. It is something that is so automatic that when it is on the wrong side it totally screws you up. Nick did the same thing when he was here. Nikki loves to say: "You can always tell when Mark is turning because the wipers come on." Now she'll have to expand that to:"You can always tell when Mark/Saggy/Nick is turning because the wipers come on."


For the last day we decided on Phillip Island which is supposed to be a very popular wildlife area. The first stop out there was at a Koala Conservation center. Which roughly translated from tourist talk is: Let's put up some boardwalks and charge people ten bucks to see the Koalas that already lived there. It was worth it, but all of Phillip Island seemed to be a bit touristy and overpriced. When we found out the Penguin parade was $30 all four of our cheapskate butts clinched right up. But, we thought that was what we went out there for and what Phillip Island is famous for so what the heck. It was well worth it! When the sun went down a few penguins starting popping up out of the ocean and looking around. Then almost like they went in and told the rest it was okay, hundreds of the little buggers came strolling on in. They just walked past on their way to burrows. The park ranger said they actually don't even sleep or hunt while on land, just mate and play. That was exactly what they looked like they were headed to do. They would get to running and stumble a bit. It was so ridiculously cute. This lasted about an hour and then the rangers turned the lights out and we walked back along the boardwalk and the penguins were all over around us. We came across two of that looked like they were fighting or dancing, then one (I assume the boy) hopped on the back of another (I assume the girl) gave a little wiggle, laid there for a minute, then kind of stepped backward and gave awkward glances to each other and these funny humans that just watched them. We were laughing so hard it hurt!

These guys were so fun to hang out with. They like food and wine, are great conversationalists, and have absolutely no problem being mesmerized by the simplest things and not being embarrassed when acting like an excited little kid. Rachel was worried early on Saggy and I would kill each other by the end of the visit but Sag and I assured her as we did Saggy's mom, Mary, many many years ago; that is just how we talk to each other.

Representing the Griz in Sydney

What I should be doing right now is going to get the Cleveland's a new air mattress (our other one went flat(turns out Wal-Mart sucks just as bad in Australia)). But my mind was fresh and I have a few minutes so I'll preserve my thoughts for posterity instead. Besides all our children would rather read this 10 years from now than Uncle Sag and Aunty Rachel sleeping comfortably tonight.

On Saturday morning we headed out to Sydney. That evening we strolled around the beautiful city. We started by meeting up with an associate biology nerd that Saggy knew at the only good brewery in mainland Australia. Poor Rachel and I were outnumbered, but we survived. Me because the beer was great and Rachel because she is a gentle soul. Speaking of the beer, Saggy has survived only because I have guided his way through the most acceptable forms they produce here. After some exciting conversations on the ills of suburbanization and the death of habitats, we strolled on down to the Opera house. The first time I saw the Opera house it was cool, but mostly because of it's iconic status, as a building I was unimpressed. This totally changed this time. When we first spotted it we were coming from under the Harbour bridge, the sun was down, it was all lit up. It was absolutely breathtaking. And you would certainly know it by the 127 pictures we took of it between the four of us.

The next day we went to a play at the Sydney Opera House. I know grammatically it was unnecessary to include that full statement... I just like the way it sounds. Side note to all class of 1997 graduates of Shepherd High School: We have not turned gay, but it was fabulous. The play was a full reading of "The Great Gatsby" they just acted as one dude read it out. I know it sounds weird but it was genius. And after the show Rachel knew the stage manager so got a back stage tour. No kidding, we walked all around through the inner workings pof the Sydney Opera House. And after the tour we had a few drinks with the actors at the next table.

Monday we took a cruise through the harbor and toured all around the city. The cruise was an all you can eat buffet lunch. These guys would definitely be ideal cruise partners. We all gorged ourselves on the food. That evening we ditched Nikki Marie at the airport as the rest of us headed out to Katoomba in the Blue mountains.

I'll cover that in the next post because the Clevelands are now home at they won't shut up long enough for me to continue my thought process.

Sophisticates

Thursday morning Saggy, Rachel, and I hit the market and selected an expanse of fine cheeses, then we picked up the rental car, picked up Nichole from work and hit the road. In a further expanse of the Cleveland/Beddes level of sophistication we spent Thursday roaming the Yarra Valley sampling the wines of this lovely region. Nichole started the day quite concerned about blowing off her thesis and drinking wine all day, but this slowly dissipated glass by glass. That evening we had planned to do a tour of Melbourne’s bars, but we were in Vino and cheese mode and decided to continue that back at the flat.

Friday morning we strolled through the entire market so the Cleveland duo could find some souvenirs and check out the Queen Victoria Market. Being the astute observer I am, I didn’t even notice them picking up the massive pie for my birthday. Nichole being the person that knows me like no other nailed my birthday. Of course, she had a high standard to live up to after her perfect birthday two months ago. When she got home from work, Saggy came out with a Moose Drool (Nectar of the Gods for the uninitiated) and Nikki came out with the monster meat pie with “Happy 30th” written in Ketchup! How friggin’ cool is that? Then the ideal gift… a personalized beer brewing. This place called Barley corn brewers let’s you go in and make your own beer then pick it up two weeks later when it is done. Now, I have been suffering through overmalted Aussie beer for 10 months and then I get a 6 pack of the greatest beer ever created followed by my own creation. That is a pretty good gift.
And to finish off a very good birthday, we met up with Angie, Kane, Alana, and Marc for a footy game. And what a game of footy it was. It came down to the very last kick. Bad news was the Doggies came up 2 points short. Oh well, it was close to a perfect day, and in stark contrast to the previous few days it affirmed we still had balls.

Saggy Drawers down under?

Funny how things work out. If someone had told me in high school, Saggy Cleveland would come visit me in Australia I would have told them it was never gonna happen. However unlikely one of us making it to Australia the chance of both visiting was ludicrous. For those who don't know him, Saggy is a friend from high school that now counts poop for a living (or is a wildlife biologist if you like fancy-pants job titles). The furthest stretch I could have imagined would be Saggy would be on some poop counting visit over here by order of the University, and I'd come to visit to sample the beer. In reality, he is coming to visit me, we are bitching about beer prices, drinking wine, and plan on attending a play at the Sydney Opera House like a couple fruitcakes. Oh well, I am comfortable enough in my masculinity to do such things.

As for their visit, I have spent the bulk so far working. Being the great guy that I am, I went in to the evil place for the last time to square some things away and help them out until the got a replacement sucker... I mean teacher. On Monday, as soon as they got in I had to go to work as Nikki walked Saggy and Rachel around. Rachel is Saggy's lovely, intelligent wife. I may talk a lot of trash about Saggy but one thing for sure is he married up. When I got home we fired up some Kangaroo tacos, and they faded off to that good ol' jet lag sleep.

Yesterday, we hit the thousand steps hike in the Dandenongs and Saggy had to stop every two seconds to take a picture of every bird, mushroom, and flower. If we'd have run across poop, I just don't know what he would have done. Then last night, we went out to St. Kilda to have a BBQ at Stuey's house. Afterwards, we walked along the St. Kilda pier and checked out the penguins.

Today while I sub-taught a little wood shop, I sent Saggy and Rachel out to Healesville sanctuary which is a cool zoo type thing with lots of indigenous animals. I figured it would be like porn to Saggy. They managed their way out there and back just fine. So, now we need to slop down some dinner so we can make it out to our Lawn Bowls game (look it up, it is the silliest game in the world).

What a week- Nikki style...

Where do I even begin? Since my last post, I've cut and pasted so much of my thesis that it doesn't even resemble its original version, but this is a good thing. Now I'm working my way through each of the sections trying to complete and polish it. I'm about a third of the way done and am feeling alright about it, though I must say it's all encompassing.

Well- not all encompassing as I'm now starting to face the reality of moving back to the US. I've been trying to avoid this reality and have been succeeding until this week- and oh what a week. It started with an email that our renters aren't interested in renewing their lease. I guess this is a good thing because it means we have a place to live when we go back, but now there's the worry that maybe they won't pay rent or will trash the house like the last renters. Plus, I was kind of looking forward to a new house, like one with 2 bathrooms that aren't on the opposite side of the house than the bedrooms. Oh well- I guess I should be happy to have a place to lay my head. Oh wait- the only place I have to lay my head is on hardwood floors since the other bastards (not Mark's Jewish ones, the last set of renters) stole our bed- that still pisses me off!

Then, I've been hearing a lot of rumors about cuts going on back at Sumner and have been a little worried about my job. I knew that I was guaranteed a position, but I want my position back. Well- it's not going to happen. I got an email this morning with my placement for next year- 6th grade math and science at Lakeridge Middle School. Now- what in the world gave them the idea that I can teach 6th graders? I teach science because I like science, not because I like students. I tried to be positive about it thinking that at least it's a job and maybe an easier job since it shouldn't take too much to prep for 6th graders, but then I watched some kid's quiz show on tv this afternoon and was shocked that the contestants (probably 6th graders) don't even know what herbivores eat! How much science can I really teach to kids that might not even know what an herbivore is?!

Oh yeah- to top it all off- I found out last night that I have to apply for graduation. I didn't pay any attention to the graduation email because I knew that I wouldn't be around for the ceremony. Well- apparently even if you don't plan on attending the ceremony, you still have to apply for graduation so they know to reward you a degree. Of course I want them to reward me a degree- that's what I'm here for, but I also want them to reward it to me as soon as I earn it so I can get the pay raise that comes with having a masters degree (especially if I have to teach 6th graders- I'll probably need the pay raise to justify going to work everyday). Unfortunately I missed the deadline for this semester and now have to wait until next semester, which means I probably won't get my degree until the end of the year and so I won't get my pay raise until next year (if I'm still teaching then).

So, that's my week...

What a week!

Sometimes when writing from Melbourne, there isn't a lot to say, hence the greater frequency when we are traveling. Melbourne has become "old hat" I guess. But this week had no shortage of stories.

First off, I am pretty sure I worked my last day at the horrible place where I taught. The situation there continues to go downhill and it just isn't worth my time any more. The final nail in the coffin was Monday. During my lesson a 5th grader that wasn't even in my class, came over and would not leave us alone. He would just yell at the class, or run through and mock the stretches. It became evident to me that the only way this class was going to continue was to remove this boy from the situation. Now in 7 years of teaching "normal" students I never laid a hand on one. The occasional pat on the shoulder for a job well done but even that would make me nervous for a lawsuit. But this place (as I mentioned several times) is different. So, I picked this boy up by the shoulders to keep his arms down and keep him away from my body and walked him over to the main office. I then had to move him to my left arm so I could open the door with my key. At this point he got an arm free and pulled out a pen and proceeded to stab me repeatedly! This is a 5th grader! Once I got the door open, I let him go inside then he ran off. This is just one more issue in a long line of issues from this crazy crazy place. I hope to go on a bit of a tirade about all the little stories about this place, but I want to be careful because the teachers at this school are such great people. It is just out of their control. Until then, check out this video. The kids in the crowd are my students.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVgd1tbaZwc



In other news, I have been spending a bit of time at a place called Australian Technical College. It is just my kind of kids. Most didn't do very well in the regular school, and are sent here to do carpentry, mechanics, etc. while still getting their full diploma. So, as you can imagine they are kind of rough kids... but great kids at the same time. the teachers there have told me that it is the toughest place to teach in Melbourne. Then I tell them about where I teach. The biggest difference between the ATC students and the Jewish kids, although both sets hate school, don't want to be there, and feel it is a waste of their time. The ATC students don't loathe your very existence.

Anyway, on Thursday they had a footy game against ATC-Bendigo which is about a 2 hour drive. These kids treat the F-bomb like a period... they can't finish a sentence without it! So, two hours of me trying to correct their language, then 1 1/2 hours of a footy game where all they wanted to do was brawl the other school, then a drive home. Now on the drive home is when it gets real funny. The bus that I was on gets a flat, and there is only me and another teacher. Good news: The bus had a spare tire... Bad News: Bus lacked the specialized tool to get the spare tire out... more bad news: Even if we would have had that tool the tire was seized up from rust (the bus was a real junker). Now after calling RACV (Aussie equivalent to AAA) they decided the only way this was happening was with a tow the bus into the next town. Surprisingly enough the tow truck lacked the capacity to carry 10 boys and 2 teachers. So, the other teachers rode with the tow truck in to town, while these 10 boys and I walked along the highway out in the middle of nowhere. Who da' thunk I would be just strolling down the road in the middle of Australia with a group of students? Eventually, a few hours later the bus was repaired and came around the bend... just as a gas station (that no doubt had a meat pie for sale) came into view. I hadn't eaten all day, and this was the light at the end of the tunnel. But alas, we hopped on the bus and were happy to actually be heading home again. What a day!...

What a week!

A day in the life of public transport

The other day I was going to head in to "the evil place" early to make up some written work because the little bastards couldn't handle difficult concepts such as dodgeball. They won't follow the rules of any game, so I thought I might try giving them written work and see how they handled that. More on that place in a few days.

Back to the topic at hand. I sometimes take the bus that picks up right outside our flat and I sometimes take the train. It depends on how many good podcasts I have ready. The problem with the bus is you just sit out by a post on the street and hope the bus eventually comes. It is supposed to come every 15 minutes but that is flexible by 30 minutes or so. The other morning when I came out I see the bus flying past. Now I have chased it down before but was not willing to do it on that day. So, off to the train station. When I try to get in to the train station my ticket will not work. So, I have to fill out a form to get reimbursed.

Still OK for time, but no chance of being early enough to put together lessons. I get downstairs and pop on a train to Flinders station (the main station). When I arrive I see the train I need to take roll away on the concourse across from where I am standing. So, after an 18 minute wait, I jump on that train. Then for no apparent reason, it just stops inexplicably in between two stations and stays there for 10-15 minutes. Eventually, it pulls away but I am starting to come to the realization I may be late. Then just to throw the icing on the cake at the next station we pick up a lovely old couple with those scooter things. They were regular speedsters getting on compared to the excruciatingly slow speed at which they backed off... at the very next stop (which was just one stop from mine!) It was like the Austin Powers back up.

So what could have been a 20 minute drive or an, at best, 45 minute bus ride turned into a 2 hour ordeal. And I was 10 minutes late.

I almost forgot this part...

Finally the clincher; I caught a ride over to Stuey's place after work to pick up his bike (he had it while we were in Port Douglas). Since there are no trains over to St. Kilda I thought I'd just jump on the tram back to the city. I got on and validate my ticket, we roll to the next stop, and a tram cop jumps on. She checks my ticket, then proceeds to tell me I can not have a bike on trams and I would need to hop off at the next station. Here it is night time, raining slightly, I am obviously from out of town (accent), and this chick tells me to hop off and find my way!

At least mass transport is cheap, good for the environment, and I get plenty of reading in. No worries, 2 1/2 months until rolling "the bad ride"!

9449...

The WEA (Washington Educator's Association) used to, and maybe still does, have an ad called "What's your number?" that featured a teacher with a number such as the number of students in class, the hours spent grading, or the amount still owed on student loans. Anyway- tonight my number is 9449, which is the number of words in my thesis rough draft. After spending the last month researching and writing, I have a finished rough draft! The bad news is that it's very, very, very rough, which means that I'll be spending the next month reading and polishing. Wish me luck- it's going to be a long one :)